Wicked!

I finally saw a Broadway musical and I was very impressed. WICKED was well, WICKED good. I didn't realize before but I knew a lot of the songs and was even able to sing along to a few. I may be turning into a theatre gay. Lol yeah right, but it was a great experience and I can't wait to see another. While watching Wicked it brought up some old feelings and new realizations.

While watching Wicked last night, it brought back memories from high school and how cruel people can be. As a closet case, that clearly shouldn't have been hiding, I was tormented by fellow students for who I was and what I couldn't change. I mean I had tons of friends, which were mostly girls, and a few guy friends too. But, just like Alphaba I felt outcasted by a select few for something I couldn't change. Once people actually got to know me they realized that all I wanted was the same thing they did. I wanted to fit in, I wanted a friend, and continue to want those things today of course. I remember trying to dress more like a "man" but of course my gay senses took over and I always ended up looking way better than any of the guys in school. I talked deeper, walked broader, worked out more, and joined some sports teams to show off my "testosterone". I even pretended to have a girl friend (whom was actually a boyfriend) and his code name was Kayla. I walked around pretending to be someone I wasn't because of the fear of rejection that overwhelmed me whenever I tried to speak with someone about the way I am.

Rejection is an inevitable process that all of us encounter through out life. We cope with the cards we are dealt in life and play the best hand we can. We reinvent ourselves, resculpt ourselves, and cover up what isn't acceptable to the real world. Why do we look for approval of others? Why aren't we able to provide enough approval for ourselves? For me, this is an easy question. I'm a people pleaser, a giver, and sometimes a push over. That said, I like many others, look for approval from people because I want to feel good about myself, I want to fulfill the needs I possess to please others.

Pleasing other's can be hard though. Today's society has put so much pressure on people to be "normal" that we don't even know what normal is anymore. In fact today's society has taken it to an even higher degree by expecting people to be perfect and people fall into this trap. THERE ARE NO NORMS! We are all individuals with differences and imperfections that make us the people we are. Some of us may be a little quirky, brainy, plain looking, adherent, too skinny, too fat or just plain out flawed. These weaknesses, as some would put it, in ourselves make us who we are though.

Some of my weaknesses are clear to people when they meet me. I'm way too kind, gullible, immature, insecure sometimes, and impatient at other times. But, I am who I am. I'm learning and growing everyday to fix the things that I need to. I want to be the best person I can be for myself. I also want to be the best person I can be for the world and want to make a difference while doing so.

So many people have lost hope in the world. They've seen the bad, the ugly, and the evil and they don't even bother anymore to fix it. It almost seems like people have given up on what used to be "normal". They've given up on manners, doing good deeds for others, and trying to make an honest living. This needs to be fixed! PEOPLE GET WITH IT ALREADY! Be a good person and stop judging books by their covers. There are so many good people in this world that are passed by at every second. The next time you are walking on the street and you make eye contact with someone smile at them, say hello! These small things will help the world to be a better place.

By making the world a better place one smile at a time or one hello at a time, everyone will be affected in a positive way. Judgement on people's flaws will be forgotten, good things will start happening and we will all start living the good life! DON'T FORGET who your are! DON'T STOP BELIEVING in yourself! And most of all NEVER STOP DREAMING! Have faith, do good to others, and have a positive outlook on life and you will see what a difference it will make!

We all want the same thing! LOVE, HAPPINESS, FRIENDSHIP, FAMILY and a sense of BELONGING! So make it happen!

Best,
Brandon