I am ME!!!!

Alright so I’m officially an over thinker. I over analyze every situation to the smallest and greatest degree. I could turn a simple hello into something way bigger than it is. Why is it that I over think things? Well that is something I don’t know, but what I do know is that all of this over thinking is really getting on my nerves. I never realized it until recently, but I’m a deep thinker. I’ll be at dinner with someone and will literally go off on a thinking tangent about how life works and what I can do to make it work better. So I’ve decided to share my over thought thoughts with the world. Maybe they’ll make sense to someone.

Right now I’m being faced with dilemmas in my life and am having a hard time choosing what to do. I’m at a point where new things are beginning and old things are ending. I’m finally single after two years, but so terrified of getting out there and testing the waters that it is sickening, I ruin chances before they are even presented and fail miserably with ones that are presented. I feel alone but feel so free and good. I guess the word alone is negative, so let’s say I feel INDEPENDENT. It is also my last year of school at Indiana University, where I will also be INDEPENDENT and working my ass of to finish up my degree. I’m dreading going back though for some reason.

Indiana University is amazing; I’m not going to lie. It’s kind of like a little New York to be honest. Indiana University is home to a lot of the east coasters that attend during the school year, foreign students from all over, every ethnic background you can think of, and every kind of person as well. But, being in New York and doing me in the big city is what I want. Little New York is not cutting it anymore. The thing is, I have a full ride at IU and should stay and finish up. In fact, I’m going to finish out my senior year at IU. It’s going to be hard though. I’ll have no one to go back to this year (the past two years I’ve had a bf to come back to). I mean of course I’ll have my friends and my family, but being single is just different. It also feels good though.

I guess you could say I need to embrace that good feeling of being on my own and find myself as an individual. I have a lot of dreams and I want to make everyone of them come true. My 7th grade science teacher once told me, that I would be a shining star some day. Other prominent figures have done the same as well throughout my life. My family and friends have always said that I wasn’t meant for such a small town and that the world needed to hear my voice and opinions. To be honest everyone has always told me this. So I’m doing it, I’m fulfilling my dreams once and for all!

I’ve always been a little different as well. You could describe me as a little quirky, a dreamer, a go getter, and an optimistic person with a positive attitude towards life. I have a bubbly, caring and sometimes out of control personality as well. I like to have fun and do what makes me happy, and I’m not afraid to do it in front of anyone either. I may need a nudge or two to get me going but once you’ve nudge me enough, I take off. I strive for being the best and competition in the right setting is a joke to me. I guess you could say that the old Brandon that held back, even know you wouldn’t think that, is done. The new Brandon is here.

That said, for now on I’m going to be me. I’m going to do what makes me happy and I’m not going to stress over the little petty things and drama that others bring into my life. For now on I’m going to stop over analyzing, stop over thinking, and go with the flow. If things are meant to happen then they are meant to happen. I’m done trying to make situations work, people work, relationships work, friendships work, and most of all I’m done trying to make myself work to please others! For now on it’s about me, and beautifying myself in everyway, from the inside to the outside! I AM ME and I AM IMPROVING ME!!!!

Thanks,
Brandon